Sometimes I feel I'm stupid. Actually I feel that almost everytime I try to do something adventurous. Like, what exactly was I thinking when I planned to do it? And now, is one of those moments.
I had decided to tell Anish about my feelings. I had called him yesterday, asked him to meet me at the cafeteria before the lecture and he had, of course, asked if anything was wrong and all I had replied with was a nervous laugh. I didn't have a blink of sleep last time, worrying as to what I would say to him, how I would start the conversation, imagining his reactions and stuff. But somewhere around 3, my eyes closed and opened when the alarm woke me up.
Lying to my parents that I needed to work on my project with some friend, I hurried to college so that I could come in before him and worry a bit more.
5 minutes and Anish would be here. I had run over the words I'd say a thousand times but I was very damn sure I was going to say something stupid before him.
And then he came, handsomely dressed, hair gelled as always, walking with an attitude (or maybe it's confidence?) and a backpack hung on his shoulder. As soon as he spotted me, he smiled. I couldn't move, either he looked way more handsome today than everyday, or it was only my imagination. But no matter what the reason, I completely forgot what I had been revising.
He took a seat in front of me and asked me what was up. I was tongue tied. I forgot about everything else and just kept looking at him. He might've clicked his fingers in front of me because I was suddenly brought into reality.
I took a deep breath and the next words I spoke confused me as well, "I think you should know this but -" There came the 'but'. Why was there a but?
I shook my head, "I mean, there's something I've been meaning to tell you. But I don't know how to start." "You know, I'm really not following you," Anish laughed nervously. I couldn't understand what I was saying how could I make him understand? "Anish the thing is -" "Yes?" "Well, I dont know how or why. And neither do I understand how this happened. Maybe this is wrong or maybe it isn't. But I think you should know this. Well, not me but —. (IN COMMENTS)