"It's better to burn than to fade away, it's better to leave than to be replaced. I'm losing to you and baby I'm no match (...) I taste you on my lips and I can't get rid of you. So I said; Damn the kiss and the awful things you do!" - Nicotine, Panic a the Disco
A very long time I spend to try getting a friendship with people who treat me very bad.
I did this just because I was anxcious that I'm alone if I don't have any friends.
Bad things happended when I was alone... everytime.
In the 7. grade I remember letters I received, I remember ugly smiles and rude words ("let go of him, he isn't even worth a cent") oh hell yes, I will always remember all these things.
And although I'm not able to be still angry over these persons (lucky me... it would burn my energy xD), I wanna scream in their faces "LOOK AT THESE SCARS! A couple of them are only your fault!" Some of you might have a worse past than me. I know friends who get injuries, cause the bullies slap them against the wall... well expect for pushing me around I was lucky that I wasn't hurt physically, "just" my soul was torn.
This people didn't know that my life was most of the time very rough and that I was unsecure as hell... but that's no apology.
Some of them might say "It wasn't that bad. He makes the whole thing up." But how bad it was I (!!!) decide. And not YOU.
Not the person who was cruel enough to say to another human being with emotions, flesh and blood that it's disgusting and has no value.
Sometimes even such words can cause suicide, depression, borderline, eating disorders, anxiety, panic attacks, sleeping disorders..... a very high price for feeling good for stepping over the feelings from another person, right?
I won't every stop to blame you, and that's a burden you have to carry and you have earned.
2688632 days ago
Have times experimented with the filters around. Totoro phone case 😊. What is your favorite anime?
 I really want to start posting aesthetic things like quotes and just different pictures, because that’s what I’m really in to right now. So yeah, if my account starts becoming more organized and aesthetics oriented, don’t be alarmed.